In a bittersweet turn of events for the victorious senator, and now-President-elect Barack Obama, conservatives on this US election day eve began an en masse movement of suicide and emigration. Upon hearing the news that up to two thirds of 120 million US conservatives would not debase themselves by becoming subject to impending totalitarian PC demands for “unity” (i.e. forcible submission), leftist devotees in California interrupted incestuous celebrations with their media-elite cronies only long enough to chortle, “We guess that’ll mean fewer camps to build — fewer anti-progressives to re-educate, or punish to death in work camps for their horrible intolerance!”

When asked if there is room enough in the states for gulags which could accommodate the remaining 40 million conservatives, party leaders cavalierly asked how that figure was arrived at, and “What’s a gulag?”  

Despite myriad reports of innumerable depressed traditional families egressing the country’s porous-to-non-existent borders, or simply “offing” themselves with their soon-to-be-confiscated firearms, feverish celebrations of The One continued in anticipation of the night’s acceptance speeches from senior party leaders touting the party’s themes of New Tolerance and New Open Mindedness. 

Further inquiries as to who might actually now be counted on to procreate, or fight in the military, or hold down a job in this new incentive-challenged fiefdom, or even just make it out of the womb alive, were met with a slew of vulgar gestures, the question “What’s a fiefdom,” and a swelling din of voices singing “Ain’t no nannie like a nannie-state nannie ’cause a nannie-state nannie don’t stop.”

Don’t stop?!? almost rhymes with hemlock — on a night when a pox named Rampant Entitlement is fomenting many a terrible thirst.  

©2008 TheBSshow.com and The BS Show.

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I just have to opine one more time in 2008:  While just now packing for vacation (a word which, itself, can be code for holiday; which, of course, means Holy day; which, in proximity to Christmas, might imply a specific Christian holy day. In fact, Christmas really means Christ Mass, which itself means Messiah Celebration, so, no wonder the anti-Christian bigots at large love to hate any mention of a Merry Christmas in the public square with that most mollifying contempt which can only be the work of good old evolved “humanity”) I over heard a few minutes of a Michael Medved interview (author of the new book The 10 Big Lies About America: Combating Destructive Distortions About Our Nation) poignantly summarizing several of those alleged lies. Wow!

I’m going to suggest that Medved’s book be required reading not only for the polymathic co-hosts of The BS Show® but for each and every caller and emailer contacting the world’s number one porchcast, The BS Show®. Incredible. 

I’ve gotta get back to packing but all manner of registered voters — especially those who boast of their open mindedness — are hereby implored to make The 10 Big Lies About America one of 12 books you’ll buy and read in 2009. If it turns out that those aforementioned open minds are imbued with a bit of humility and thirst for wisdom, to boot, Medved’s work just might serve to lighten the burden of some of your own baggage. Merry Christmas!!!

Remember the scene in Harrison Ford’s old movie where Indiana Jones was scared almost as witless as the film’s audience by the intimidating imposition of a desert-savvy, middle eastern garbed, enemy combatant, of sorts, wielding two glistening swords and threatening to emphasize with immediacy the fragility and brevity of Jones’ earthly mortality?

And remember your great relief when Jones — the film’s good guy — having recalled the loaded handgun on his person just shot the guy? Me, too. I loved it. 

My point is that, in light of the recent Islamic extremist lethality in Mumbai (Bombay), and given the clock-like dependability of human nature to, in the real world, assiduously come up with new recreant expressions of evil — some of which are destructive of innocents and innocence — it will always be in good people’s best interest everywhere that superior fire power reside in the hands of the good guys. Always. 

However, where foolishness and strategic nuttery (think head-in-the-sand pollyannas and pacifists, for example) outweigh palpable quantities of goodness, humility, and reason (hopefully instantiated in the form of law and jurisprudence), uncontroverted danger will persist and metasticize often to needlessly catastrophic proportions. Who wants that? (Hint: Don’t ask PC extremists at the New York Times who can’t or won’t admit the vast, pragmatic differences among an extreme radical like Mother Teresa, an extreme radical like Abu Musab al-Zarquawi, and an extreme radical like Joseph Stalin.) 

In anticipation of the next stealthly scheduled Militant Muslim Mayhem it would be best if the “gooder” among the human race — or at least the less evil — could muster enough courage to finally begin: (1) recognizing the paucity of wisdom which besets us as a race; (2) questioning our unwillingness to accurately judge,* parse, and extirpate the ideas and ideologies which repeatedly foment wanton mass murder; and (3) demanding that our protective personnel be so overwhelmingly equipped by us (in comparison to those passionate, genocidal jihadists just around the corner) that the good guys will not have to fear the lethal embarrassment of bringing a bamboo cane to a machine gun fight.

* Yes, the author knowingly used the word “judge.” If this causes the reader to judge the column differently, or to judge that the author has misjudged, the reader might further judge the merits of retracting any judgments as may be construed to be judgmental. As an adjunct readers are also encouraged to judge that the numbness propagated by the anti-judging zealots in our universities will cause history’s judgment of us to be justifiably pitiless.

©2008 TheBSshow.com® and The BS Show®

During the foolishness of my “openminded” years, I attended a dozen or so meetings at one of our world’s innumerable worldview factories. A “worldview factory” is, of course, any place where worldview or life philosophy or sense of life or a given set of beliefs is generated. Where humans gather, share, and are told how to live and think, like a university, for example, or science symposium, church, hall of Congress, book club, mosque, Hollywood film company, Santa Monica’s Third Street Promenade, any episode of Keith Olbermann’s show (obviously), and every taping of Oprah, etc. The extent of the sharing (or propagation or preaching, if you will) varies by venue.

In the particular factory I visited, and amongst a very sacrosanct-by-appearance constituency, I had the pleasure of learning, growing, and questioning the status quo of my worldview at the time, as well as theirs. Cutting to the chase: When it came time for individual congregants of this group to share experiences, anecdotes, personal stories, etc. each would, in closing remarks, almost invariably make clear mention of his or her own humility, i.e. “This I say humbly?” Wait, isn’t the pronouncement of one’s own humility necessarily self-refuting?

I’m pretty sure the speakers meant well but think it over. The humble would never look for reasons to proclaim such a trait. And although your delightful, bloviating co-hosts Bjorn and Shawn of The BS Show® jest ad infinitum about the immensity of their own levels of humility they are obviously joking (for the most part).

So those of you trying to help us stop the massive hemorrhage of goodness in The West, be careful out there. Teach your kids; tell your friends; grace a stranger. Neither the pursuit nor attainment of personal humility is to be brashly proclaimed, at least not among any who wish to find it, keep it, or be well regarded for endeavoring to do so by the civilized.

 
©2008 TheBSshow.com® and The BS Show®